It’s so quiet. 14 days of {belly} laughs, communal meals, nephew dances and new adventures…now met with silence. I’ve always known how much I love my family. I’ve written before about being the child that had no desire to grow up. I knew it was a joke.I mean really…Who rushes signing up for paying their own bills!?!
I recognize how fortunate I am to have grown up in a household where my parents did everything they could to maintain a pleasantly memorable childhood spirit alive. At times I wondered whether or not growing up the way I did inhibited my ability to have ‘common sense’. I use to feel under-developed because of my perceived naivety about people and the world around me. I’ve walked around with such joy and appreciation…and still do…somewhat fearful that, that joy- would be slapped abruptly off my face. I now know that my outlook on life is the result of a lot of things…one of which being parents who intentionally designed a world for me where free-spirited living was possible.
As an adult, I now see the world for what it is; light and dark, twisty, unpredictable, and full of hidden gems. My parents are no longer super human to me– they’ve graciously shown and shared with me the obstacles that they have managed and some that they still are managing. My appreciation for who they are and all they overcome, deepens with every conversation.
Spending these days with them have awaken my spirit to such joy. I literally have not laughed this much in years. Dropping them off at the airport felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped away– and the silence made sense. My people were leaving.. and initially that felt like my joy was leaving with them.
Watching people you love leave feels like pulling a rubber band in opposite directions. The further I drove away– the more tension built…until the band snapped (and the water works began).
I love living in the bay, and yet my heart seeks daily for the comfort and love of family and Home. For companionship. For hugs just because, and laughs that draw tears and headaches of joy. I think I should have abs for all the cracking up I did these past few weeks. Seeing family repeatedly for several days reminded me of all the things I loved most about my childhood. Unwavering love. Laughter. Pain–familiar pain. Hugs. Singing. Unapologetic authenticity. My parents gave me all of this. I hope that this life, in it’s own way, will give me those things too.
They are the reason I light up every room I walk into– they gave me a gift I’m finally able to receive.
I have learned so much during this Bay Area transition about myself and who I’m becoming on this journey through life. I am so appreciative of every lesson, every heart ache, and ever pound on my body that has shown me who I am. I am MORE than enough.
…and that even in the sneaky silence, the absence of companionship, and skepticism around what my life will become… I am undoubtably loved, worthy of love, capable of loving, and, equally, lovable.
COVERED in HIS Grace and Mercy, always.
hydration.nutrition.fit.sound.
cierraleanne 
That’s My Cryin 🤓😍😘