It’s been a while. I’ve had several thoughtful blog concepts come up over the past year (that I didn’t write about 🙄)–all related to topics I tend to write about.
Love, Lost, Weight, Health, Family, Life.
The overcoming, the changes, the hurdles & such… however today (11.11.19) I’m inspired to write about the way I’ve been living. I’ve been in London for 4 days out of the 7ish day trip planned with a dear friend who lives in NYC–a trip we talked about nearly 2 years ago and finally got around to doing.
I was so nervous before this flight I thought I was going to have to cancel and try again the next day. I mean my stomach was twisted in knots, I couldn’t stop sweating, my thoughts were going at a million miles per hour. What was going on?!
Thinking back to it now, the reality of what and where I was going was settling in. I have a deep affinity for this place, and my anxiety leveled up, reminding me that there wasn’t any agenda or travel agent for me to fall on—this was all me. I would have to trust myself.
The first time I left the US was to come to London. #shoutout to the MUNDO crew, I would say the year but I cant quite remember lol. I’ve been back a few times since & this time with much more intentionality.
I’ve travelled a ton in my lifetime. I can literally
(ha! Literally ) say I have been all around the world to some incredibly fascinating place. Every trip comes with a new splash of awareness, growth, joy, experience, reality, fill in the blank.
London has it’s on special spot. It’s grounding. It’s liberating. It’s significant.
London continues to be a place where I evolve. From being fearful to faithful, Each visit brings me a bit more out of my comfort zone. Whether it’s a revelation ( i.e. first place I told a college crush I had feelings for him), a turn up session (i.e. partying hardddd here during my 11 country Eurotrip), or all encompassing experience (i.e. flying solo and meeting up with one of my very best friends–extending my stay for some solo exploration), London brings the best, strongest, most confident, and courageous part of me to light.
I’m leaving London with new friends. People I will keep in touch with, and memories that make me grin. With an appreciation for a job that allows me to travel, and a deeper appreciation for the work I’ve been doing in therapy to unpack, repack, and love myself unconditionally.
I don’t have any massive declarations I want to make or consider before 2019 ends. In fact this has been one of my favorite years yet! My best friend got married, I travelled to a new continent with two dope main squeeze friends, I’m having major breakthroughs in therapy, I made it back to my all time favorite city, I got Ruby kisses, mom and dad love and hugs, nephew snot bubbles and smiles, thought -provoking conversations with my brother, sister and brother/cousin/friend, more wedding announcements, healthy babies born, new job, new outlook on my health, enhanced appreciation for the joyful moments in life. An exceptional year.
The year also brought heavy losses, another high school friend and classmate passed away, the matriarch and holder of some of the best family memories also passed, followed by more unfortunate news today (11.24)… the passing of my cousin Gerri. These shed light on how quickly life shifts, reminding me to hold on to joy & memories– to aggressively pursue my greatest life desires, and to love unapologetically. It could all end at a moment’s notice…
2019 has been an amazing ride and as I write most of this post in dimmed lighting at The Groger sipping a Bailey’s hot chocolate in Spitalfields Market, I can’t help but smile (& tear up a bit). I am moved by ongoing spiritual encounters and the ways life scrapes me off the ground the second I lay down to give up. I am fascinated by the clarity that come to me when I sit with my own thoughts in silence.
I’ve been reflecting on the grass is greener concept quite a bit lately. Given all the various social media personas, flexing and otherwise (myself included 🙋🏾♀️)! The more I write, travel, work, love, scroll, read, move, think, laugh, cry, hug, and dance, the deeper appreciation I have for the uniqueness of being broken, loving, imperfect, silly ol’ me.
Chin up buttercup…#justkeepswimming and know you have a flock of angels lifting you spiritually… carrying you and your light for as long as God allows.
This one is for you Aunt Ev and Cousin Gerri. Fly free & thank you for loving me. 🙌🏾